“Smile! You Never Know Who’s Watching…” and Other B.S.

Simply Melanie Rose

Recently, somebody told me, “Smile, you never know who’s watching.” Remind me – am I supposed to care who’s watching? Is it my job as a female to go around looking like a lunatic so other people won’t think negative things about me? Is this the part where I give two fucks? Can a person ever really give enough fucks to make ‘other people’ happy? I guess I didn’t respond quickly enough, so they said, “A pretty girl like you should smile more.” Pretty girls are required to respond and tend to the egos of surrounding somebodies. These are the rules of being female. We must acknowledge all who need to feel acknowledged. We must do penance for the wounds of pretty-girls-past.

I was so inspired and uplifted by this reminder of my true worth. I immediately started walking with a spring in my step and a desire to break into…

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How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones…


Someone I follow on Twitter shared this a few moments ago;


What is contained in this piece of writing was, simultaneously, hilarious, incredible and terrifying.

Let’s break it down.

These days, many women walk around playing with a smartphone or tablet device and are often wearing headphones and listening to music at the same time.

It may have escaped your notice chum(p) but walking around playing with a smartphone or tablet device while wearing headphones and listening to music isn’t something that only women are doing a lot…

In fact the accompanying photograph for this piece is this…


A man wearing headphones which, I’m fairly sure, are connected to a smartphone or “tablet device” (why not just say iPad?) and which are probably being used for the purposes of listening to music.

Yet, it doesn’t always mean that you, or anyone else, can’t say hello to her.

Well…it actually does…

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