I’m going to start to be more edgy and wild

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I want life experience and I want to not care so much about what I should do or how I should act. I don’t care about that anymore. I’m going to live for me and be the bad bitch I know that I am. I am going to look super innocent looking but in reality be very smart, thoughtful, edgy, wild and someone who just does not give a fuck. I love dressing edgy and I love being edgy. Fuck being an innocent child. Fuck that shit.

https://worldwidebosses.wordpress.com/2021/03/28/who-the-fuck-do-i-want-to-be

I wanted to know that I matter, that my life matters in this world, that my existence has significance

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I realized that everything I had been doing in my life, everything that I had been building up to, such as my high-paying job and my condo ~ it was all an illusion, it was all a facade. What was the point of stressing myself out for five years if I were to lose it all one day? Why did I have to suffer for nothing? Losing everything in the pandemic made me start to question what the purpose of everything was. Why was it that we spend our whole youth spending six hours in a classroom, which most subjects we don’t even use and why do we take such big gambles such as paying thousands of dollars for an education that does not guarantee a job or if we get one, we could lose it in an instant due to factors outside of our control? Why did thousands of people need to die needlessly in the pandemic, including someone I knew, who was young and vibrant, at the start of her career?

https://introspectivecollections.wordpress.com/2020/12/10/why-a-blog