No answer is an answer!

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I received a very mean message that said I should stop posting happy family shit.. it went on to say some very crude things about my family. Let’s just say, I was flabbergasted. Especially after I made the connection who the message was from. My choice was no response.

https://halfwaythereme.wordpress.com/2021/04/01/take-the-high-road

Literally letting y’all take a peak at my diary

Keywords: christmas , divorce , feelings , healing , heart , holiday , journaling , party , vulnerable , writing

I fortify myself with grit and conviction and take another deep breath. I look up at the ceiling and let one lonely tear fall. I make an agreement with myself that it will be my only tear tonight. I gently pat my cheek dry, take one more look at myself in the mirror and this time the woman I see looking back is a fighter. I’m staring at her. I can see that she’s tough. She knows she can do this. She believes in her strength. She believes in herself.

https://reclaiminglacy.com/2020/12/17/reflections-on-last-christmas

I truly feel like I’m starting over but I can’t start because I don’t know where to, and this bout’s acceptance process has left me holistically exhausted, apathetically hopeless, and aimlessly wandering

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I have absolutely no desire to find a job in my career field and I lost the one person who fully knew and loved me throughout my life. What do I do with that? What, of value, do I even have left? I don’t know who I’m turning into but I know God can make something of her with however much time she has on earth.

https://courtneymessinger.wordpress.com/2020/12/16/remains

You may recall a post I made a few months ago …

Keywords: freezine , brand , brand name , brand names , branding , brands , communities , community , domain name , domain name registries , domain name registry , domain names , intellectual property , intellectual property law , intellectual property laws , linguistic communities , linguistic community , market , marketplace , marketplaces , markets , natural , natural language , nature , online communities , online community , organization , organizational structure , organizational structures , organizations , trademark , trademark law , trademark laws , trademarks

in which I mentioned that “I am not at all proud of the species I apparently belong to” (“I understand that this is very important to you”). Another way of putting this idea is that I have little trust in the human species (that is very general – perhaps it might be more appropriate to say that I have little trust in the vast majority of humans; there are a very small number of humans in whom I might be able to manage to have a small amount of trust in).

http://remediary.com/2021/02/11/in-what-we-trust

The more I feel confidant about something, and the more life seems to get complicated

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I am still very excited to be a teacher, but I should also be working on connecting. I want to be a guidance counsellor in dark times, whether we suffer as a group or a student is individually in strife, and I want to relate and give them a sense of hope. It is becoming harder, but I am reflecting on some lessons of what I already know. I am developing a continuous recovery plan to promote my mental health and high performance as a teacher.

https://trottier165portfolio.wordpress.com/2020/12/10/reflection-on-your-progress-towards-becoming-a-teacher

I wanted to know that I matter, that my life matters in this world, that my existence has significance

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I realized that everything I had been doing in my life, everything that I had been building up to, such as my high-paying job and my condo ~ it was all an illusion, it was all a facade. What was the point of stressing myself out for five years if I were to lose it all one day? Why did I have to suffer for nothing? Losing everything in the pandemic made me start to question what the purpose of everything was. Why was it that we spend our whole youth spending six hours in a classroom, which most subjects we don’t even use and why do we take such big gambles such as paying thousands of dollars for an education that does not guarantee a job or if we get one, we could lose it in an instant due to factors outside of our control? Why did thousands of people need to die needlessly in the pandemic, including someone I knew, who was young and vibrant, at the start of her career?

https://introspectivecollections.wordpress.com/2020/12/10/why-a-blog