You’re undeniably different in every way possible

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How you look at situations, your lens of the world has changed. How you interact with people, your relationships with others is fragmented and redesigned. But eventually, that way of living becomes familiar and doesn’t hurt so bad to wear it every day. You become desensitized to the itchy smock of grief, and at times can even joke about what an ugly number it is. This is me, until the next tragic life event occurs. Hopefully it’s a very long time from now. But when it does, I hope I don’t descend into a ball of gelatinous nothingness for a year and have to scramble to get my life back. I can’t worry about that now though.

https://daniellecanwrite.home.blog/2021/07/02/i-dont-even-know

I know now that there are some things too big and too painful to be fixed by simply “washing my face” of it

Keywords: Grief , Loss , Motherhood , single mom , single parenting , Suicide , Widow

Each of my kids feels the loss of their dad in a different way, and I feel helpless in that I know this is something I can’t fix for them. My boy, who was 5 when his dad died, can still recall the life he had with him. There is both joy and sadness in those memories, and also a fear of losing someone else he cares about. My daughter, who was only 2 1/2, only really knows a life without a daddy. She begins to notice at daycare and then at school, that she is one of the only kids without one, and so she asks me if we can “find” her a dad…as if it is as simple as putting an ad in the paper, picking the best option and inserting him into our lives without there being any expectations on me with this man.

https://messybutneverbroken.com/2021/05/07/not-instagram-approved

When I’m 25, I want to look back and be proud of my decisions

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Growing up, my sister and I had to take care of ourselves because both our parents work. And after observing the dynamic at home, we formed our own opinions about the way relationships work. I guess that’s why, while I always say I wish I had someone I hold particularly dear to my heart, I’m completely okay with being on my own because I hate the thought of having to baby a man who isn’t in tune with his emotions, or one who is awfully insensitive. Spare me the anguish.

https://vertigobutnotreally.wordpress.com/2021/05/03/21-going-22