Look, I know you think the fact you feel upset or angry or anxious is important. That it matters. Hell, you probably think that because you feel like your face just got shat on makes you important. But it doesn’t. Feelings are just these… things that happen. The meaning we build around them–what we decide is important or unimportant–comes later.https://markmanson.net/fuck-your-feelings
Recently, somebody told me, “Smile, you never know who’s watching.” Remind me – am I supposed to care who’s watching? Is it my job as a female to go around looking like a lunatic so other people won’t think negative things about me? Is this the part where I give two fucks? Can a person ever really give enough fucks to make ‘other people’ happy? I guess I didn’t respond quickly enough, so they said, “A pretty girl like you should smile more.” Pretty girls are required to respond and tend to the egos of surrounding somebodies. These are the rules of being female. We must acknowledge all who need to feel acknowledged. We must do penance for the wounds of pretty-girls-past.
I was so inspired and uplifted by this reminder of my true worth. I immediately started walking with a spring in my step and a desire to break into…
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I’ve thought a long time about what I am going to write, if I should even write, what is even the fucking point? But whatever. it’s kind of therapeutic for me, so here I am. Over a year ago was my last blog post. It was bitching about being fat. That was my main reason why I decided to write again. I was so angry, broken by my own body, or what my idea of what my body should look like. There was so much guilt and shame, but I can say with confidence that I am different from that woman. Not yet whole, but definitely healthier and more happy.
I have always been overweight. Well, since I can remember anyway. I have also hated my body just as long. No matter how active I was, my body refused to be anything but just overweight. Like most girls, I was…
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