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How you look at situations, your lens of the world has changed. How you interact with people, your relationships with others is fragmented and redesigned. But eventually, that way of living becomes familiar and doesn’t hurt so bad to wear it every day. You become desensitized to the itchy smock of grief, and at times can even joke about what an ugly number it is. This is me, until the next tragic life event occurs. Hopefully it’s a very long time from now. But when it does, I hope I don’t descend into a ball of gelatinous nothingness for a year and have to scramble to get my life back. I can’t worry about that now though.

https://daniellecanwrite.home.blog/2021/07/02/i-dont-even-know